Should You Move In Together?

Your relationship has gone from just dating to semi-serious to the point where you are contemplating asking her to move in with you or she is asking you to move in with her. This situation is one that should not be entered into lightly. Moving in together involves some serious analyzing before you make a final decision, and you should never rush moving in with someone.

Not to mention that if it doesn't work out, in some cities it is next to impossible to find a new apartment in less than six months. So before either one of you packs up and moves, here are some things to talk over before you move in together.

First things first, if you don't communicate well, moving in together is not going to make that problem better. It will probably make it worse. So, good communication is the most important tool to making moving in together a success.

What do you need to talk about? Everything! How are you going to handle finances? How about housework? How about guests? Do you see this move as a stepping stone to something more serious, or is it more for convenience? How does she feel about all these things? It is important to talk over every one of the possibilities before moving in together.

The biggest thing that any couple argues about is money. You need to decide how much each of you is going to contribute to the household budget. Some couples open a joint account that is strictly for the household bills. Then, each person has their own account for personal bills and expenses.

You also need to decide how big purchases are going to be made. Some couples set a limit. For instance, anything over $250 should be discussed before purchase. Another thing that couples find difficult when they first move in together is the household chores.

If one of you is a slob and the other is a clean freak, there are bound to be sparks. You should not expect her to take over the cleaning duties and she should not expect you to become totally organized and neat overnight if you weren't before.

It is a good idea to talk with her about why you want to move in together. For some women, moving in together equals an engagement, while for some men it just means that her place is bigger and cleaner and is closer to his work. If you are planning to move in together as a trial basis for marriage, let her know.

On the other hand, if you have no intention of buying the cow because the milk is free, so to speak, you need to let her know. It is only fair to give her an idea of your intentions. Studies have shown that living together before marriage actually decreases the possibility of staying together, so that is something to think about.

Living together is a big step in many ways. You need to think about it carefully before doing it.